


(John: fuck it all up) Houseswapped

by HyperOnCatnip



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Session (Homestuck), Alternate Timelines, Canon-Typical Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-01-13 06:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18462941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperOnCatnip/pseuds/HyperOnCatnip
Summary: The beta kids end up with the wrong guardians and a new session is made.(Unbetaded, will fix errors later)(This is based on a fanfic I made on fanfiction.net.... wich I never finished writing)





	1. John: Fuck everything up

CG: STOP, WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING STOP.

CG: I'M ACTUALLY BEGGING YOU JOHN

John: Fuck everything up.

You proceed to fuck everything up with only one extra button mash. It should be impossible, yet you somehow manage to do just that. Your chums are going crazy in your chatlogs.

EB: i...

EB: fucked it all up

CG: JOHN!? OH GOG OH GOG OH GOG! 

Your timeline is dead, you and your friends are moved into the abyss. Your universe make room for the wrong guardians and the wrong kids.

John: be dead


	2. Heat and clockwork

You're standing in your bedroom, a hot red sun is setting amongst the rooftops. The scourching heat has found it's way into the walls making your and your guardians apartment almost unbearable.

You move out into the combined living room and kitchen. You could maybe fit in the fridge for a bit. Alas it's full of swords as usual. You let out a sigh as you open the fridge door, stepping out of the way when a fuckton of swords fall out. Why did you even bother? You pick the swords up and shove them back into the fridge. Swishing sounds of puppet wires catch your ears. You turn around. It's just lil Cal, limply sitting on one of the barstools. His liveless eyes follow you when you walk up to him.

"hi man, have you been there the whole time?" you ask him. He doesn't answer out loud but you can see his eyes gleam. Suddenly you're on the ground. A red long nosed plush looks at you from your foot. You frown looking up at Cal. There's a note on the cieling that you can't really read. 

You bring out your phone and read: ROOF NOW. BRING CAL. Well, that dictates your whole afternoon. A conveniant ping comes from your phone. A quick conversation with a friend will ease your nerves. 

\--grimoireGales [GG] began pestering tregetourGetaway [TG]\--  
  
GG: Happy birthday John.  
TG: hi rose! thank's for your present!  
TG: i got this awesome sweater from dave and some homebaked cookies from jade!  
GG: I'm glad you like it.  
TG: it's cool like me B)  
GG: Nobody doubts you're the coolest.  
GG: So, is that all you've got to say? No juicy details about your COOOOOOOL bros plans for today?  
TG: good one rose, 15 isn't that special!  
GG: Right. Only a few years until you become an adult.  
GG: Legally B)  
TG: lame!  
GG: Strider would you please just play the silly game with us?  
TG: i've already told you no!  
GG: It was going to be fun. I was going to play this huge game with my friends and now nobody wants to play.  
GG: Lalonde is drunk off his plush knitted butt and Jade booked a date with other friends. It's lonely living on an island in the middle of nowhere, there's not much you look forwards to.  
TG: since i don't have anything better to do i guess i can join?  
TG: but you've got to stop playing with my emotions miss.  
GG: Duly noted  
GG: I was truthful about everything though.  
TG: Ugh! How can he be drunk this early?  
GG: I have no idea. He just told me he was drunk and then. Radio silence.  
TG: i'll get him. you get jade.  
TG: if i'm obliged so are they.  
GG: I can always count on you :3  
  
\--tregetourGetaway [TG] ceased pestering grimoireGales [GG]\--

You enter the chat with one Dave Lalonde that you never left. It's tiresome to read his coral text when he's drunk. Somehow his alcohol problem seems to have gotten worse the closer to your birthday it got. You wish he would stop.

TT: abd then she hustled me four five wgile hoyra. Coukd you believe that? all this for a fame  
TT: *and *wholr *hiurs *game  
TT: *hours  
TT: damn hehe  
TT: are you still tgere john?

TG: are you awake?  
TG: or did you pass out again?  
TT: I'm awake.  
TG: oh thank god!  
TT: My head is killing me. Could you make this quick?  
TG: you're sober!!!  
TT: I wish I wasn't.  
TG: don't get me wrong, drunk you is a blast. it's just nice when you remember things we've talked about without a cheat sheet  
TT: Please move us along Strider, my eyes don't feel too hot about this laptops brightness even on it's lowest setting.  
TG: yes! this is good lalonde! you can do this! put that drink down!  
TG: gg told me you were a wreck, but you're getting better  
TT: I passed out on her didn't I?  
TT: Don't answer that.  
TG: she would forgive you if you play games with her.  
TT: She convinced you huh?   
TG: no, not at all.  
TT: So when do we start?  
TG: let me ask her afrer my strife with bro.  
TG: don't touch that drink when i'm gone!  
TT: You know I can ask her myself right?  
TG: snarky pants!  
TT: Have a good strife John.

\--tideripTune [TT] ceased pestering tregetourGetaway [TG]\--

You put your phone in your jorts pocket before getting up from the plush pile. Cal stares at you as you pick him up. You give him a careful fistbump. You swear you can hear him cackle. With a gulp you swing him over your shoulder, heading towards the stairs.


	3. Fly and stride

He's there on the roof, leaning on the railing enjoying the last rays of the sun. John lowers Cal to the ground. The capped man doesn't even look up at him, just checks his phone.

"..." John clears his throat, bros eyes snaps to him. Making a shiver go down his spine. Bros hand reaches out, picking the puppet up before reaching for him. John jumps back. The older man chuckles.

In a flash he's in front of him ruffling his hair. "happy birthday" he say, striding past John. The kid is standing still as his guardian leaves him. He's left with a package in hand.

John places the package on the railing. He pulls out his phone, pressing the icon of pesterchum. A chum seems to have been pestering him. It's a new handle he has never seen though. He takes a chance.

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling tregetourGetaway [TG]\--

CG: OKAY JOHN JUST SO YOU KNOW AND THAT THERE'S NO HARD FEELINGS ABOUT IT.  
CG: YOU AND YOUR GANG ARE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN THE ORIGINAL UNIVERSE'S YOU! HOW THE EVERLOVING FUCK DID YOU EVEN DO THAT?  
CG: I'M ALMOST IMPRESSED WITH HOW AWFUL YOU ARE IN EVERY WAY!  
TG: are you yelling? should i be intimidated or not?  
CG: YOUR LALONDE BLEW UP FOUR OF OUR COMPUTERS YOU WASTEBLOB! YOU SHOULD BE SCARED CAUSE SOME OF US HERE IS KEEN ON FUCKING YOUR SHIT UP!  
TG: oh man. dave did that?  
CG: ...  
CG: YES  
TG: hold on let me talk to him  


\--tregetourGetaway [TG] began pestering tideripTune [TT]\--

TG: no reason; did you blow up someones computer recently?  


CG: THERE'S NO USE TO CONTACT HIM. HE WON'T CHANGE HIS MIND.  
CG: ALL THIS HAPPEN IN YOUR FUTURE SHITHEAD. IT CAN'T BE CHANGED!  
CG: AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT WE THOUGHT  
CG: THEN THIS UNIVERSE POPPED UP TO PROVE US WRONG.  
TG: what?  
CG: YOU WOULDN'T GET IT DIPSHIT!  
TG: whatever. dave isn't responding.  
CG: OH FUCK. OH GOG. OH MAN!

\--carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling tregetourGetaway [TG]\--

John puts down his phone puzzled. He grabs the package and tears it open. In it there's another note from his bro. Under the note there's a metal bunny peeking up at him. He opens the note wich is folded in half.

Sup little shit, looks like it's your birthday.  
Shocking how it happens each year, it's like I constantly waste my time on trying to teach you the basics of combat. Here's a bunny I've programmed to teach you better. Learn.  
/Bro

The bunny fixes its eyes onto John when he's done reading. The glare of the setting sun reflects in its metal head and floppy ears. John shuts his eyes tightly.

"Hey..." he say carefully. The bunny takes on a fighting stance. 

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO ENGAGE IN COMBAT?" a cold voice asks him. It takes his all not to jump out of his skin. The bunny has drawn its tiny katana.

John puts his hands up. "No."

"INITIATING BATTLE MODE" the bunny lunges forwards to Johns dissmay. The boy puts his own katana up to block it. The bunny is sturdy, John get pushed back a good meter. 

"I SAID NO DAMN IT!" he yells, pushing back. His opponent barely moves as he does. A quick tilt of the shitty sword manages to break it, slicing into his arm and nicking his glasses. He's sure all the neighbourhood can hear his scream of agony. This is just his luck, getting killed by a faulty robot on his birthday. 

He grabs the Katana slicing into him, lifts the bunny up and stumble towards the ledge. With blurry sight he manage to dump it over the edge. His forearm goes down with it. "Fuck this shit" he spits out. There's blood everywhere and he's pretty sure he can hear someone yelling at him to get up.


	4. Rose: make your entrance

-grimoireGales [GG] started pestering germinateTrillium [GT]-

GG: Jade, do you have time?  
GT: hi rose!!! :D  
GT: let me just get to the bathroom!  
GG: If I contacted you at a bad time we can talk later.  
GT: no! now is good!  
GT: it's so smelly in here hehe  
GG: If you say so. I have a few questions I'd like to take up with you  
GT: is it about the game? :/  
GG: As a matter of fact you are dead on!  
GT: i'm so sorry rose :(  
GT: i had totally forgotten about this movie coming out today  
GT: but! as soon as i get home i promise to play with you guys <3  
GG: Oh. Ooooooooh  
GG: Well that's embarrassing. I thought for sure that nobody actually wanted to play with me and that I would have to somehow convince you.  
GT: we got you silly <3   
GT: wallace and gregory are banging on the door! see you in 3 hours<3

-germenateTrillium [GT] ceased pestering grimoireGales [GG]-

Rose closes her lunchtop with a content sigh. The seagulls are singing desperatly for her attention in the sky. She pays them no mind as she delicately chose a weapon from her inventory. A rifle, the one her grandfather left behind for her not too long ago. She aims, shoots. The seagull lands with a soft thud besides her. The remaining gulls flee the scene.

"Becquerel, I've brought you food" she calls gently. There's no doubt he will hear her. He never misses a meal. 

Rose dispatches the portable oven from her sylladex. Fiddling with it's settings until it reaches nuclear. She has put her sunglasses down to her nose as the green flame gleams. The gull is grilled quickly in front of her. The limegreen flicker of a dogs silluette takes form.

Becquerel leaps at the cooked bird, divours it in a swift gulp. Rose smiles at him gently. Good dog. Best friend. Her hand cards through his fur as he licks her cheek. The portable oven gets turned off with her free hand.

"Bark!"

"You're a good boy Bec" Rose says with a fond smile. She scratch his chin while he lets out more happy barks, whisking his tail around like the rascal he is.

A quiet ping catches the pairs attention. Becquerel snarls at the lunchtop. "Easy boy" She clicks the flashing window. A familiar coral text appears.

-tideripTune [TT] started pestering grimoireGales [GG]-

TT: Sup.  
TT: Sorry I fell asleep on you yesterday  
GG: What a relief, you're alive!  
GG: I was honestly concidering calling an ambulance to your place. Or maybe a psychiatrist.  
TT: I don't need the wine anymore. Besides...  
TT: Can you even do that from over there?  
GG: Don't underestimate me mr. Lalonde. I'll always find a way to do what can't be done.  
TT: Yea, my bad  
GG: Could it be that you're sober and want to play a game with me, perhaps?  
TT: Called it.  
TT: Yes that is something I'll leave at the table as a suggestion. Shit's been going wilder the closer we got to the release date.  
TT: I'm all tons of paranoid tbfh.  
GG: You mean your hunches or the fact that you pretend to rap with ghosts?  
TT: Aah shit! Who told you about that?  
GG: Drunk you did.  
TT: Of course I did...  
GG: It was pretty entertaining.   
TT: Damn.  
GG: On a more serious note: It's pretty scary how accurate your hunches are.  
GG: You know those pumpkin seeds Jade gave me?  
TT: The ones I said would mysteriously dissappear to another dimension?  
GG: Yes! Those!  
TT: omg, you know I was drunk when I said that!  
GG: I am aware. Drunk or not the prediction turned out to be real!  
TT: The hell?!  
TT: NO!  
TT: I don't believe you  
GG: I know! And it happend just like you said it would. Right time and all.  
GG: It's just like when you said your cat would die.  
TT: Fuck to the no.  
TT: I can't. Just no. I can't.  
GG: It just keeps happening?  
TT: You got it. Those pescy stairs keep fucking up my mentality. Shit's why I'm always drinking.  
TT: Could you do me a favour and check on John? I don't know if I can do it myself.  
GG: Okay. I talked to him an hour ago and he was fine, just so you know.  
TT: I did too, but I am pretty sure he's about to bleed to death right now.  
GG: That's horrible, are you certain?  
TT: Yes Harley.  
TT: Let's start the goddamn game and maybe it saves us for some unknown reason!  
GG: Alright, but I need to check on John?  
TT: Yes, right. I'll install the server while you do that  
GG: Neat. I'll do the same with the client while I contact him!

Rose minimizes the chatwindow, feeling anxious for her friend. She inserts the disc into her lunchtop before clicking Johns chumhandle. He's currently online it seems.


	5. John: wake up

There's a loud ringing in his ears, his sight blurry and too bright. The scent of blood is prominent wherever he is. Something cold is pressed to his upper arm, the one he lost the other half of. He blearily looks up at the man attaching the cold metal.

"You awake lil shit?" there's no trace of worry in his bro's voice and if there is it's covered up throughly. "I can't trust you to follow even the simplest instructions can I? What good would it be if you died on me?"

John shudders as the nerves of his new metal arm connects. Bro is waiting for an answer but he's not sure he can get out a word. "I'm sorry" he manages, earning a stern glare.

"I've told you to not apologize." the older man said, fastening some screws. John vinced, feeling his artificial nerves pick up on them. It's tingly and weird. Bro patted his shoulder as he put the screwdriver aside. He tossed a phone to John before dissappearing. 

John caught it with his metal arm before his other arm even got the time to react. He unlocked it, display almost blinding him. There were six missed messages from his friend. How long had he been out?

He taps Dave's chumhandle first. Better start with the paranoid guy. For all he know's he could think he's dead. 

TG: no reason; did you blow up someones computer recently?  
\- -  
TT: Not that I am aware of, why?

John lets out a sigh of relief. That looked normal enough, maybe his friend didn't have another crazy vision involving him dying. He starts typing a small response: TG: someone said you did in the future! probably a troll lmao

He taps Rose's handle next. Paragraphs of purple meets his eyes. He sifts through it.

\-- grimoireGales [GG] started pestering tregetourGetaway [TG]\--

GG: I got some good news: appearently our friends were going to play anyways so there was no convincing to be done.  
GG: I must admit that I'm a little dissappointed. There was no poetic rap battle in sight. No pun related banter either. Only this wholesome welcoming speach wich moved my heart.  
GG: And before I forget. Do you remember the pumpkins Dave said would dissappear?  
GG: They did just that, dissappearafyed into thin air on the hour. Dave freaked out about it when I told him and told me to ask if you were alright.  
GG: Are you alright, John?

He rolls his eyes. These worry warts needs to stop doing their job of worrying. Couldn't they see that there was nothing to worry about? There sure isn't anything he deems worthy of worrying about. John's fingers pads across the screen ready to leave one hell of a comment.

TG: yup, i'm peachy.  
GG: What a relief!  
GG: I was close to a panic. I thought for sure something awful had really happend to you when you didn't answer.  
TG: i think i almost died though. or i was sure i did but i woke up again.  
TG: rose?  
GG: I'm sorry, it's just a lot to digest. Maybe this was what Dave saw.  
TG: man, he got another vision?  
GG: Something like that.   
GG: We've been making some progress in the game while you were unresponsive. I have been living my archetectual dream whilst Lalonde is in a corner sulking. He looks just like I imagined, white as a sheet, bags under his eyes and a scarf that's in no way ironic.  
TG: how long was i out?  
GG: About one to two hours I'd estimate.  
TG: shit.  
TG: sorry i kept you waiting! let's start the game already. i've been missing out  
GG: Marvelous! Start with downloading the server disc. I'm intrigued as to what you will do about my house.

John gets off the cold metal counter. He takes off his blood drenched shirt, tossing it into the sink. His arm is bandaged where the metal of his new arm meets his skin. It's a relief really, not that he was squeamish. Still the thought of it made him shudder. What a wuss he was.

He walked into his room, shutting the door behind him. The heat makes him groan. Despite all the fans blaring in his room it's still unbearably hot. The beta is laying neatly on his desk. Bro.

John unfolds his laptop and insert the disc of the client player. Almost in an instance the game starts loading, neon colours in a kalleidoscope takes up the whole screen. He shrugs, picking his phone back up. Looks like Dave had sent him a couple messages.

TT: You're alive?  
TG: of course! nothing bad happen to me hahahahahhaha!  
TT: Sure, so what's this about trolls?  
TG: psh nothing special. poor thing sounded angry and shouty, nothing new  
TT: Lmao. hilarious.  
TT: You should go tend to Rose now. She's growing impatient. Hitting me repeatibly in the head with the velvetest of pillows. 

\--tideripTune [TT] ceased pestering tregetourGetaway [TG]\--

What's that supposed to mean he wonder, staring at the flashing loading screen.

TG: wait will i be able to see you?  
GG: Yep, my beautiful mug is all for you to see. Wonk ;)  
TG: GASP! IM NOT A HETEROSEXUAL!  
GG: Don't worry, my paws will be kept to themselves and will only touch you in the most platonic way possible.  
TG: i wouldn't mind if you touched me ;)  
GG: Oh my freaking flip you're such a player <3  
GG: Whatever will I do?   
TG: i can see you now, take cover and quit your swooning  
GG: We're making this happen, John!


	6. Dave: visualize

\--twinArmageddons [TA] started trolling tideripTune [TT]\--

TA: there you have iit you iin2ufferable priick  
TA: iit wa2 niice doiing buii2ne22 wiith you. let2 never talk agaiin and pretend thii2 never happen  
TT: What never happen?  
TA: hehe, you got iit  
TA: you meat nugget2 aren't a2 2tupiid as ii thought  
TT: I understand fuck all everything now. Look at this key I lock this information away with. I throw the fucker into the abyss making sure nobody digs that shit up again.  
TA: yep, there2 nothiing more two 2ay about the matter  
TT: Fucking peachy.  
TA: 2ee ya whenever you need my 2erviice agaiin  
TA: WAIIT FUCK NO!

\--twinArmageddons [TA] banned tideripTune\--

TT: Okay.

\--twinArmageddons [TA] unbanned tideripTune\--

TA: 2orry.  
TT: You're forgiven.  
TA: you're pretty cool <3  
TA: ii'm goiing two go diie now.

\--twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling tideripTune\--

"<3???" Dave stares at the screen for a few moments. Mind blank in what seems to be the first time in forever. A soft pillow pokes his cheek repeatedly. "Rose please" he groans. Rose keeps poking him. He flips open his laptop again.

TT: You're alive?  
TG: of course! nothing bad happen to me hahahahahhaha!  
TT: Sure, so what's this about trolls?  
TG: psh nothing special. poor thing sounded angry and shouty, nothing new  
TT: Lmao. hilarious.  
TT: You should go tend to Rose now. She's growing impatient. Hitting me repeatibly in the head with the velvetest of pillows. 

\--tideripTune [TT] ceased pestering tregetourGetaway [TG]\--

That settles that. The pillow falls down onto the floor. Dave will have to thank him later. Now he has some buisness with his mother.

He picks up one of the many martini glasses scattered throughout his room. Then he heads into the wizzard corridor just outside his room. The portraits have their own scarves wrapped around them. Snuggly and ironically keeping them warm. It's all from the knitting spree he has been on for the past couple months. Who could've known that Johns ironic gift would be this fun.

The whirring of a vacuumcleaner comes closer as he decends the stairs. Mom soon comes into view, sweater and scarf on despite it being way too hot for that. Her expression brightens when she spots him. "Oi Davey, I maed poptarts!" her cheeks are dusted pink and her breath smells strongly of alcohol. It doesn't stop her from giving him a bonecrushing hug and a kiss to his forehead. He hugs her back with a small smile.

"Hella lot of meteors out there" he says. She doesn't look all too worried about it, just nods. "The labs been goin all sorts of cray cray Davey. I don' think its anythin to worry bout though, it's supposed to happen rite about now" she tells him. She puts a lukewarm poptart into his hand. "You've been getting so thin lately, are you eating enough?" she pinches his cheek gently. "Yoink, lol"

He rolls his eyes at her. "I'm fine mom" she gives him another hug. He took a bite out of the poptart. It's soggy and sort of gross. She grins, messing up his hair further.

She goes back to cleaning just as a loud crash is heard and the whole house shakes. Mom looks at him with a startled expression. "Alrighty, looks like I gots to run. Stay here, Davey!" she tells him, unplugging the vacuum cleaner. She then hurries towards the lab.

An unknown object has been placed on top of the stairs, blocking the way in a rather successful manner. He walks up to it prodding the wheel. It's heavy to turn and it takes a couple tries before he does what looks like a pirruette off the handle, turning the fucker with his socked feet. Like a fountain pink cylinders spray out of it, knocking him down the stairs. A couch does a great job at catching him.

He gives no one in particilar a thumbs up. Persumably it's Rose though, since she must be the one who caught him. Either way the couch is the real hero here and he's just going to lay down for a while. Just a little bit.

● 

Derse's towers are nowhere to be seen as he wakes up in his dream. Soapbubbles surround him as far as his eyes can see. Looks like he's been sleepwalking again. Dave scouts the bubbles for even the smallest glimpse of Derse but it's not there. He knows that he'll be here a long time then.

Something human and dogshaped charges through the bubbles bellow him. He can see crackling neon green around it. Visions of unknown peoples death flood him. He floats up, towards one of the bubbles, the guy haven't spotted him yet. His mind clouds with visions the closer to the bubble he gets. Soon he can't see anything around him anymore, just death.

● 

He wakes up again, this time for real. He wants to do nothing but drink now but he promised them and himself not to. So he gets up from the couch, goes to the cylinder spewer, picks up a few cylinders. He notice the countdown. It was really happening wasn't it. He knows exactly what to do thanks to his dreams. Take the cylinder, jam it into the dowel carver. The punchcode is Abb1eP113, he remembers this because it's like Applepie.

He acends the stairs in search for the thingy that will make the object the vase is carved to create. Conveniently it blocks the bathroom door. He puts the fucker on it's pedistal; three minutes to go. Heat is coming under him, it's mostly likely a fire from the meteorite that made the house shake earlier. The vase gets scanned and an envelope appears on the platform. Dave picks it up.

"A ferwell melody" it says. He opens it, a poem is written inside. Five pages to be exact. He honestly doesn't know why anyone would write one that long. However it makes a tear fall from his eye when he finishes. Maybe there's more because he miss how everything lights up for a moment before going completely silent, except for the turning of gears.

Land of gears and passing something in his head tells him he is in now. The letter in his hand have vanished. He sneaks a peek outside. Cogs are inbedded in the ground, making the laboratory spin in front of his house. The sky above is pinkish red and cloudfree. A dozen of shapeless imps are in the yard waddling and swaying around. Mom is there too, fending them off with her bare fists. She's got this. 

He ejects all of his items from his sylladex, picking out one of the empty cards. The contents make a huge mess on the floor. He brush back his bangs, flipping the card over. He punches in the code into the totemlatcher or whatever it's called. The vase he has placed there shaves thinner. He picks it up under his arm. An imp sneaks up on him, one of his knitting needles fit perfectly between its eyes. It explodes into one gusher like drop. When he touch it he gets one build grist.

Well that was underwhelming...

He walks up to the platform again, placing the totem onto the pedistal. It costs 100 of blue and purple grist each. He better start hunting then. He capchalouges all of his stuff again. All that is necessary that is. The dog in his dreams makes him nervous to say the least. His mind blacks out suddenly.

When he comes to it's because of a few imps whacking him with their palms. He punctures the first with a needle, the second gets strangled by yarn. Dave lay panting heavily on his back. The visions blurr his mind making it impossible to see anything but them. Wasn't it supposed to get better once he entered the game?

He struggles into his room, leaving clawmarks with his dull nails on the wall. Stay grounded, he urges. His laptop sit where he left it.

\--tideripTune [TT] began pestering germinateTrillium [GT]\--

TT: Egbert, I had a dreadful dream.  
GT: the clouds says theres nothing to worry about!  
GT: everything will be fine :)  
GT: the dogbeast comes in much later!  
TT: Uhuh. My visions are all over the place. I can barely see Egbert! When will it pass?  
GT: oh nooooo :(  
GT: i don't know, sorry :(   
TT: It's fine dude. You're not supposed to know everything. The clouds do and if they aren't being co-operative bastards thats on them.  
GT: yeah! screw em :)


	7. Karkat: start a shitfest

Jade pockets her phone. She waves her friends off with a smile. "See you tomorrow!" she shouts after them. The two boys grins and promise her that they will. She spins around on the porch, unlocks the door to her home. The scent of sweets hits her as soon as she step inside. "Dad! I'm home!"

"Welcome home" dad greets from the kitchen. He sounds like he's nose deep into the oven. All muffled and warm. Jade bounce in there to find him bent over a cake. Johns birthday cake.

It just happens every year, started way before her and Dave brought their gaming gang together. Dad would always make a cake for John like a broken NPC. She never understood why it was so important to him. Because it is. Almost as important as her.

Rose came up with the theory of dad having a biological child before her named John, whos birthday just so happen to be shared with their John's. Jade personally believes that theory and not Dave's theory that is stupid and makes no sense. How in the world could her loving dad be fake, a program?

"Did you have fun?" Dad asks, placing a strawberry onto the cake. "Yes! It was amazing! Robert Downey Jr really know how to be himself" she cheerfully says. Dad smiles around his pipe. "You should've brought your friends over"

"I'm going to play a game with Rose, Dave and John today! It's the Sburb Gamma, it's said to be the biggest thing since Tetris!" Jade giggles in excitement.

"Okay, have fun. Just don't stay up too late" Dad tells her gently. She gives him thumbs up as she slinks upstairs. She close her door and sit down by her computer. Starts it up humming on a song Wallace played on the way home. An unfamiliar chumhandle blinks as she open pesterchum. ectoBiologist she reads.

"Hehe, what's an ectobiologist?" she chuckles, clicking on the window.

EB: um hi, so karkat told me to contact you. i don't really see why but it's cool to talk to other humans i guess, even though you are us.  
EB: i'm john btw!  
  
\--germinateTrillium [GT] joined conversation--  
GT: hello john! I'm jade :D  
GT: i've no idea who karkat is but it's nice to meet you!  
EB: it's nice to meet you too. you seem far more aproachable than karkat told me you'd be.  
GT: pfft i'm always aproachable :P  
EB: hahaha i guess so. anyway i'm gonna go back to smashing imps. see you soon?  
GT: sure :D  
  
\--ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering germinateTrililum [GT]\--

Well that was odd but it leaves a goofy smile on her face. She scrolls up to Rose's chumhandle.

\--germinateTrillium [GT] began pestering grimoireGales [GG]\--  
GT: i'm home now! Let's play :D   
GG: Excellent timing as always, Jade. I think I saw my mother and I'm certainly not having any emotional turmoil because of it. Wouldn't that be silly if I did?  
GG: I've never met that woman in my life, yet there's this warmth in my chest when I see her punch her way through a wall of living chess pieces. It's peculiar really.  
GT: that's not weird at all! i feel the same way about john!  
GG: You do?  
GT: yes!  
GT: i only just talked to him but i feel like we've always known eachother! :)  
GG: Oh! It's another John! When will I get the pleasure to meet him?  
GT: yeah :P  
GT: i believe we will soon!  
GG: Um. Do you have any idea who gardenGnostic is? Since you know people.  
GT: hmm nope! But you should answer them!  
GG: Oh my fuck okay. Safety procussions have never been your strongsuit. I suppose it can't hurt to just read the message then nope the fuck away if they're a first degree creep. Then again it would be fun to alienate them.  
GT: hehe you're so silly :P  
  
GT: rose? Did you abandon me? :O

Jade pulls a face at the monitor. With a sigh she opens a deskdrawer. There she find the two disks. She opens the server case and plops it into her computer. At first nothing happens. She slouch low on her chair and go back to her conversation with Dave from earlier.

GT: i gtg now, sorry :(  
TT: Right, see you later. I've got this block of text from this other TT. Fucker is laying it on pretty thick with their lavender text.   
  
GT: i'm back!

Dave doesn't respond to her. Maybe he's still talking to the other "TT". Jade lets out a sigh, setteling on watching the loading screen. Why isn't it going faster? she wonder in her bored haze. She scroll through pesterchum. Her John isn't responding either. "Siiiiigh"

○

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tregatourGetaway [TG]\--  
TG: strider meets strider  
TG: the crowd goes fucking wild throwing confetti at our feet. shits spewing out like projectile vomit from canons with asscracks for nozzles  
TG: were drowning in confetti. its up to our fucking nostrils, leaking further and further like a dam hit by a wrecking ball. i want you to memorize this moment as the moment of destiny  
TG: when your old and wrinkly this is the moment you tell your grandchildren about. were making this happen. oh hell yes we are making this happen!  
TG: to bad its because of a stupid reason it comes to this. especially since you are the one shouty pants already talked to. shits embarrassing  
TG: are you a friend of carcino?  
TG: dude seemed angry and confused. is he ok?  
TG: dudes always got his panties in a twist. nothing to worry your pretty little mind over.  
TG: anyways youre supposed to be me and also john? hows that working out for ya?  
TG: i am doing great, just peachy. everything just go together in a marrige of fear and insecurities. you know the usual.  
TG: figures. i guess your johnness amplify your feelings or some shit. not that i feel you ofcourse i never linger on shit like that. when you look back you lose  
TG: so you're dave or rose right? you couldn't possibly be jade. she's way too nice to write in red  
TG: you saying im not nice wow rude  
TG: no, i'm saying red is an agressive colour.  
TG: oh damn it is  
TG: also you won't shut up just like dave and rose  
TG: family trait  
TG: right on the money im the og dave strider. the real one not the fake ones that litter dead timelines like a plague  
TG: do you live with bro in your universe btw?  
TG: yeah man and hes hella sweet being an ironic fuck  
TG: his irony has so many layers that an onion would be put to shame  
TG: he seems better than my bro. Or i'm just a shittier kid than you or whatever. bottom line is that he hates me.  
TG: dude cheer the fuck back up. hes probably doing this to make you stronger in the future. like he did me  
TG: well it didn't work. i don't think he even realize how much he's actually broken me down. if it weren't for dave and rose's joined therapy sessions i would've...  
TG: well not be me anymore  
TG: damn didnt think this would turn into a non ironic feelings jam  
TG: cant say im digging it but i guess youre the one to turn to about the puppet situation  
TG: make believe takes you a long way ya know. so long in fact that you dont notice how fucked up a situation is until someone points it out  
TG: then the denial comes rendering the puppet rumps normal because thats the kind of shit you cling to to stay grounded. then you realize how absolutely stupid youve been for convincing yourself its even remotely normal!  
TG: like shitty swords in the fridge  
TG: yep thats exactly what i mean by all that  
TG: gog why do you have to make me think about shit i dont want to think about!? so rude  
TG:i guess i'm just letting off some steam. you know to cope with it all since we come from the same situation  
TG: yeah  
TG: so any more juicy things i need to hear before i go back to being the cool dude that i am?  
TG: i'm gay  
TG: sweet  
TG: we needed more gay energy up in this bitch. anyways later  
TG: later  
\--turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tregatourGetaway [TG]\--  


●

\--tentacleTherapist [TT] began pestering tideripTune [TT]\--  
TT: To my understanding you did something remarkable. Something big enough to rattle the trolls who have bothered us for years so much so that they come crying for our help.  
TT: Is this true or is it another futile attempt at establishing dominance over us?  
TT: Are you refering to blowing up computers in the near future? Because that is getting more tempting the more you bother me about it.  
TT: I am quite impressed you managed to do it in the first place. Or perhaps they aren't as unreachable as they think they are.  
TT: Either way I will do it for some reason.  
TT: Maybe it was your way of alerting us of your existence. For one I am thrilled to know there are other humans here in the game.  
TT: Is it true that the earth is getting destroyed after we leave it behind?  
TT: That's a very curious question that I don't know the answer to. My theory is that the meteorites destroy all civilisation to make room for Skaia.  
TT: Got it. I have company brb  


●

\--gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering grimoireGales [GG]\--  
GG: do whatever you want as long as you irritate karkat as much as he irritates me!  
GG: Ok, will do I suppose.  
GG: thanks!  
\--gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering grimoireGales [GG]\--

Rose deploys some structures for Dave's house before she return her attention back to Jade.

GG: I didn't abandon you, I had a very brief conversation with gardenGnostic  
GG: And by brief I mean a word of encouragement to bother someone named Karkat.   
GT: karkat sound like a dick :p  
GG: Funny you should say that, I am fairly certain that's what gardenGnostic thought of him as well.  
GT: hehehe  
GG: By the way have you connected to John yet?  
GT: not yet it's taking forever to load :(  
GG: Oh, that's a shame. You really need to get a new computer. Yours is beyond salvaging.  
GT: yeah...  
GT: but it doesn't matter once we get into the game!  
GG: That sounds like another excuse but what do I know?  
GT: :/  
GT: :O !!! i'm in!

Rose lets her hand slip, dragging half of the foundation down from it's cluster of well cordinated ladders. It doesn't matter. The thought of knowing what coolkid John Strider look like overwhelm her senses.

GG: Oups.  
GT: ?  
GG: Nothing. I got too excited to know what John looks like to focus on building. They fell like dominoes wich makes sense since they're ladders.  
GG: Actually, let's not dwell on that anymore. Some scary guy just appeared in front of Dave.  
GT: oh nooooooooooo!!!!   
GG: Oh no indeed.

She picks up wizard statue trying to whack the inklike man with it. He's agile, easilly avoiding her attempts. Rose puts the wizard down, afraid to hurt Dave with it. "Fucking damn it!"


	8. Dave: greet Bec Noir

He appears out of nowhere, stabby sword ripped out of his ribcage in seconds. Dave has no choice but to run. "D̷̡̢̡̨̢̧̼͍͖̤͕̖̙̠͙̜̝̝͖̫̣̦̗̟̙̺͆͌̂̊̍̈̄̎́͑̆͊̈̀͑̈́̔̈̿̾̽̎̈́̄͑̽̉̈̓̉̊̔͒͑̈́̂̏̈̕͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅo̶̧̡͎̣̳̼̰̘̭͎͊̂̃̈͌͑̃̀̐̑͐̍̄̋̂̏͛͗̇̃̓̋̅̑̊̊̈̐̾̀̾͆͗̆͐͊̐̎́̚̚̕̕͝ ̴̢̝̭͚͓̖͍̖̞͕͍̺̳̟̗̜͊̋̃̇̊̏̈́̋y̴̛͖͚̞̖͋͆̈́̆̓̍̒̏̾̈́̍́̓͋͐͒͆͂̄̔̂̇̾̃̂̾͑̈́̈́̓͆̓͘̚͝͝͝͝͝͠ǫ̵̡̡̛̛̛̦͔̪̲̭̘͚̣̣̯̤̖͙̰̥̭̟͓̺̤̥͕̯̺̪̭̦̳̟̜͚̞̙̒̆̊̔̃̾͊̋͋͒̎̅̎͑̒̇̈́͐̇̃͗̉́̾̌͛̃̾̽̾̾̍̐̈́̎̈́̎̓͝͠͝ǘ̷̢̜̦̩̮̣͇͕̰͇̹̣͙̘͍̗̪̭͉̊̅̏͛̂̎̉̉̀͊̾̈́̾̂̓̏̀̑̌̈́͗̽̽̏͋͆́͐̈́̽̐̐͗̓̊̈́̾̒̔̀̚͘̕͘̕͠ ̷̢̡̨̨̛̠̬̠̙̺̮̝͖̲̞̞̥̥̦̮̺̖̞̣̖̠̻̖͙̙̬̮̦̗̻͎̦̖̫͓̫͈̩̬̜̗̠̜̓͂̈́̀̿͂̋͑̎̂̾̇̀̀̒̄̈́͛̆̿̊̈́̏̾͊̔̌͑͗̈́̐̄̏͐̋̑̉͒͘͘͘͜͠͠ͅr̷̨̨̧͎͔̯̯̙̖̱̦̣̳̠̘̘̭͚̖͕͔͔̦͇͈͎̖̤͍͔̄̎͛͛̂̇̆̈́̄͗̄̃͌́̄̌͑͌̓̄̿̽̓̅̈̓͛͛̉̿̀̎̾͆̆͋͑̓͂͗̉̇̎͗̐̚̕̕͠͝͠͝ͅę̵̧̨̢̢̡̳̩̯̞̫͕͙̭̪̰̲̖͇͇͎̻̦͚̻̺͎̖͔̜̭̝͕͔̮̖̗̞͖͉̫̫̤͓̼̉̒̊̔̂̐͐̅̾̓̏̈́̏͂̃͗͆̒͒̈̅̊̇̈̏͂̈́̽̈̅͗͊̂͋͆̊̏͐̈̊̚͘̕̕̚͜͠ͅq̸̨̧̧̖̰͖̮̝̟͓̺̼̯͉͉̺̣̥̥̱͖̝̼͚͔̼̬͜͝ͅự̵̢̨͎̤̲͇͎̙̣͈̯̫̰͍͇̙̻̠̞̂̊̂̉̒̄̍̈́̿͊̒̆̾̒̎̑̊́̄̍̽̃̊̓̇̔͋͐̽̈͋̃̍̕̚͝͠ͅǐ̸̧̧̡͕̱̲̙̩̭̯̘͚͔̳̻̲̤͉̬̤̻̝̂͗͆͌̅͐̉̽̏͒͗͋͊̔̐̈́͗̒͗̄̏̋̇̾́̒̾̒̿̕͜͝ŗ̸̢̨̢͈̥̯̘͍̭̯͍͚̰͈̭̮̩̳̗̱̳͎̬͎̤̮̘̯̃̐̽̄̊͌͑̋̂͒͊̈́̔̀̅̀͐̽͂̉̓͂͗̌̿̉̿͛̈́̑̊̃͘͘͘͘ȩ̶̨̨̧̛̙̗̺̟͙̹̣̗͈̬͎̳͕̩̠̣̹͕̠̗͚̜͙̜͕̪̜͉̩̘̼̬͐͌̈̐̄͛̏̈̏̈́͒̀̏͆͑͐̅̽̔̅͒̀̓̕͠ ̵̛̛̛͚͖̖̝͇̘̝̠͔̺͕̟̝̻͙̺̰͍̤̫͙̪̙͙̠̣̹̫̻̲̅̑̈́͒͛͆͊̆̈́̉̎̾̈́̍̊́̈́̈͋̒̿̈́̓͗̐̾̌̉̆̆͌͒̓̓͊̌̿̈͊̑̈́̚̕͜͠͠͝͝͝͝ą̶̢̨̠͔̥͔͓͔̖͙͓̺͕̙͚͚̳͕͚̟͈̳̳̥͙̤̫̤͈̘̠͂̈́͗͋̈́̉̓̃̆͒̃͂̅́̒̈̔̈̍̃̃̉̆̿͊̍̓͒̾̍̈́͌̾͒̌̆͘̕̕͝͝͝͝͝ͅş̷͍̳̘̜̙͙̟̣̭͉̠̫͎͙̭̏s̴̛̥̣̹̗̘̀͑̒͂̔̇͊̔͆̓͒͛̃́̇̂̀̈́̓̒͛̾͋̓̀̎͌͘͜͝͠i̴̧̧̛̛͎̱̬̠̬͔̬͎͕̗͑̈́̽͋͊̓̿̏̾̋̍̈́͛̎̇̓̎̓͋̈̔͆͛͐̓̔͊͌̏͗̍̑͗̄̚̕̕͝͝s̷̡̛̗̳̜̼̠͙̳͕̠̬͎͎̭͈̜̬͎̭̪͖̘̫̱͔̳̰̮̟̞̮͎͖̦̻͙͙͕͍͆̉̂̋̈́͒̓̅͆̇̐̏̽͛̇͒̑̃̇́̌̉̇͑̿̆̆̑́̌͒̔͋͂͌̉̾̾͘͜͝͠͝͝ͅţ̷̢̤̼̻̺̱͈̣̺͍̬̰̯̗̹͉̮̣̲͇͕͗̈́̓̿͋̓̋̎̅͛̌͂̔̓̐͊̓̓̈́̿̿̍͛͆̌͐̔̐̈́͒̽̐̓̅̀͌̑͝ͅá̵̡̧̨̛͈̗͕̝̺̰̳̭̤̯͓͕̙̗̖̱̺̯̻̭̤̰̥͇͑̽́̈́̎̊̈́̒̎͑̂̍̉̆̈́́̊͐̄̐̒̄̐̏͒͑͗̔͑̚̕͝͝͝͠ņ̶̨̢̧̨̬̰̹͖̞͔̝̟̱͕̲͍͍͉̺̦̆͂̽͂͑͑̄̄͛̈̊́̈́̏̓͂̎̍͐̑̄̑́̍̈͐̓̂͐̀̄̕͜͠͠͝͠͝͝ç̴̨̧̢̡̨̨̛̛̖̦̯̻̰͎͇͓̱̥̥̣̦̠̹̱̭̞̺̱̥̪̦̲̥̦̮͇̮͇̟̥̳̼͛̊̿͂̀͒̈́̒̂̆͌̈́̈́͋̏̒̈́͗̀̿̈̍̋̍͆̓͘̚̕͜͜͝͝͠ͅë̸̡̨͉͇̳̫͚̮͙̠̫̟͙̪̫̼̫́ ̸̨̧̡̳̙͎̰̫͉̱͎͙͔̺͎̩̳̻̏͗̃̔̽̓͊͐͊͌̇͌͆́̊̾̔̾̍̉̔̅̋̒̃̀̀͛̓̕̚̕͘̚͠͝͝ș̴̨̧̡̢̬̭̦̠̥̩͔̩̟̮̥͚̖̖̦̳̝̦̟̤̖̼͔̜͎̭̺͔̝̜͕̖͚̻̣͕͉̺̩͍͈̩͔̖̈́̓̓͑̐̑̊̆͛̊̆̌̓̄̍͘͠͠e̴̢̢̢̛̟̙̥̱̭͈̦͚̜̻̻̺͙̫̺̞̝̠͎̞͓̦̟̘̱̜̗̼͈̳͈̣̠̖͈̳̖͈̺̮̜͙̙̲̰͓̹̺̘͐͛͊̄̏̔̂̔̒̂̌̅̄͋͌̾̋̆̏̈́̕͝ͅͅë̴̛̯̬́̏͊̆͋̑͛̇͒͘͘͝r̵̡̡̧̡̧̛̛̛͉͙̞̻̟̥̩̯̥͎͕̘͓͖͕̲̰̰̱̖͕̱͔̻͖̰̦̼̝̦̥͓̼͕̘̼̼̣̘͍͕͙̳̾͒̓͛̔̈͗͗͑͛̑̾̅̋̍̍͌̏͌̅̈́̑́͆̉̈́̒̋̑́͊́̓̈́͊̈́̕̚͘͜͝͝͝ͅ?̶̢̨̢̧̡̧̧̨̧͕͎̹̘̩͈̗̭̹̬̳̜͍̣̤̲͖͇̘̦̙̳̟̰̜͓̬̬̹̪̪̮̩͖̔̄́͋͐̿̉͒̚͜͜͝ͅͅ" a voice in head asks. The meaning of wich is impossible to hear. "what?" he asks increadously.

"Ṡ̷̨̢̛̖̘͙̣̼̖̜̯͔̯̳̘̱͖͕̙̹̄̓͂̈͋̈́̄̎́́͘e̷̢̛͙͍̼̞̜̜͍̣̝̣͑̑̍̓͂͠ę̸̣̘̤̥͇͎̺̝͉̻͈̝̈͗r̵̛͓̮̮̘͍͉̪̲̫̜̝̙̹̐̀̆͐̊̽͗̿͗̅̈̈̕͜͝͝" the voice says, quieter. "L̵̩͈̣̟̬̰̾e̷̞̟̚͘͠t̴̛̛̫̠̾̆͂̊̈́͂ ̶̟̚͝m̵͇̓̅͑̈́̔̕ẽ̴͔̀̎͌͐̀̽͝ ̸̬̇̎̈́̄̓h̵̙̰̾̈́̂̚ȅ̸̦̻͎̘͎̠͎̿̈́̿̑͛ḽ̸̲̞͗͛͂̂̂͘͘̕p̴̘͙̙͈̝͋̿ ̶̘͖̹͈̖̗͇̽y̴̡̟͖̋̈́̾̃̓̀͊̀o̵̻̪̪͌͑͘̚͘ų̷̯̰̟̩̟͚̊̓̌͘̚" it insists. He feels a familiarity connected to the voice like he'have heard it many times before. "Alright, I guess I don't have much of a choice in this situą̸̨̢̢̧̛̛̛̛̬̳̲̙̻̮̣̙̼̝͔̖͚̙̖̪̼̞̤̻͕̳̪̯̥͓̘͓̰̭̲̦̲͚͎͕̱̞͓̯͕̱̗̦̬͍̘̯̦̯͈̖̘̱̣̱͇̭̰̱̖̦͕̥̦̯̰̹̦͓̲͙̺̮̥̠̤̖̥̺̯̳̲̖̽̔̔̾̌̈́̐̈́̆͛̓͐̏̔̈́̔̈̌͋͛̈͐͌̅̌̃͋̒̇̂͐̉̏̏̌́̇͂̍̆̒̃̓̐̓̓͐̇̆̿͑̀̎̊̈́͗͊̋̂̇͛͐̊̏̋̑͒̎̅̋͒̌͂̇̾͗̓̊̾̑͐̓̑͊̐̿͛̈́̄̆̿̈̒̀̆͐̍̐̌̓̄̾̋͛̽͗̐͗̉̈́̉̓͊͋́͋̒̍̀͆̓͛͆͐͗̃̀͐͋́̅̃͂͆̋̇͂̍͌̈́̓̌͑̎̍̍͛̇̏̎͑̐̈́̽̚̚̚̕̕̕͘͘̕̚̕͘̕͘̚͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝͠͠ͅt̶̡̨̨̧̢̢̛͔͈̜̠̹̲̖͕̯̮̻̹̩̯̯̯̜̖̼̣̲̬̪̳̤̲̟̗͙̫͙͖͎̻̬̥̹̖̳̲̖͖̼̦͔͖͚̤̱͓̤͖̯͍̳̱̘̪̟͙̠̹̫͚̻̪̓͒̌̀̈́̀̇̅̃̊̋̌̊̔̑̐̈́̃̀́̒̉̈́̉̑͊̑̈́̌͑͂͑̃̓̅͛͂̊̊̓̆̓́̊̋̂̓̌̃̍̀̃̔̃̐̈͌̂̐̍̾̓̒̐́̓̊̌͐͂̓̐͛̋̐͗̽̓̓̎̀̎̔͋̅͌̈́͊̎̑̽̽̄̽͐̅̀̂̇͐́͋̎̊̒͐̄̒̚͘̕͘͜͜͜͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠ͅͅī̴̡̨̢̡̧̡̨̡̢̡̡̛̛̛̺̙̖̩͔̼̪͙͔̥̪̤͔̹̯̲̻͍̙̺̞͍̫͉̼͖̤̦̱̤̯̣̺̹͓̮̺̜̬̮̺͓̞̜̬̫̩̩̬̹̫͍̬̤̟̱͓̝̯͍̥̠̬̜̟̘͙͙̝͙̰̪̻̅̐̃̽̈́͒̇̓̏̌̅̆̂̔̓̇̂͊̋̃͑̓̅̈̐̇̓̐͌̐̓̿̽͐̅̈̿͛̏̌̏̌̈́͗̿̃͗̈́̾̾̌̎̑̔̾͂̾͑̃̄̂̈̅̋̇̅̌̽͂̉̾͑̀̄͛̇̾̋̈́̓̍͑̽͌͗͊̒̀̃̇̃̑̇̾͋̂̔̓̈̐̔̍́̓͌̀͂͑͘̚̕̕̚͘̚̚͘̚̕͜͜͜͜͝͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅͅͅơ̵̡̡̧̢̨̨̢̧̡̧̧̨̛̛̗͙̟̤̝͍͉͉͖̻͍̗̘̭̙͖̭̬̣͔̙̲̭̪̘̭̹͚̝̬̞̻͉̥̟̖̗̫̖̯͍̬͕͙̬̙͇̟̺̹͉͎̬̩͍̗̬̭͎̩̩̯̙̲͉̮̩̫̹͕̦̣̤̪͖̬̳̩̦̳͇̩͉̲͓̖̭̣̪̤̦͚͈͙͈̩̙̟̠̺͓̗͚̦̗̭̊̄̓͋̑̉́̅̓͒͗̈͂̓̏̀̿͑͒̉̈̆̌̋͌̉͌͆͊̿͐̈͂͐̑̏̿̑̀̿̏͂̄̎̂̾̆̉̆̈́̿̈́͂̎̍̎̈́͌̈̑͒́͌͗̌͆̓̋͗̓̈̈́̅͊͒̂̃̀̊̽̇̍̍̓̊̈̿̽̋̎̑̔̈́̉̓̒̍̾͒̓̏̐̿͆̿͐̉̉̈̏͆̊̊̓̽̆̿̊̔̕͘̕̕̚̚̕͘͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅ n̶̨̧̨̢̨̧̧̡̨̢̧̛͇͎̼̲̼̲̼͎͚̖̥͙͈̜̙̣̲̮̝̤̻̣̱̯̹͈͕͖͍̹̹̼͙̪̣̯̹͔͈͎͎̰̱̪̪͚̞̫͍͉̱̣̟͓͉̪̦̱̗͉͉͎̯̪̰̟̣̺̲̩̻̱͖͔̞̘̦͙͚̜̥͈͉̦̗̦̳̘̙͇̳̠͙̞̮̻̳̠̭̣͓̜͖͇̠̳̪̖̰̮̞̯̹̜̣͉̟̈́́̓̈́̂́͗͋̋̽̽͑̇́̎̽̈́͌̾͐̋̓͗̈͗̔̈͊͗̔̐̃̓̍̔̆̉̈́͌̉̀̂́̉̏̃̓̍̽͛͗̆̂̐̽̋̒̓̈̿͛̑͂͋͐̊̕̕̕̚̚̚͜͜͜͜͜͠͠͝͠͝͠ͅͅͅ." the sudden surge of dark energy makes his hair stand on end. His mind has gone pleasantly blank. The powerful diety currently controlling him draw his needles. "Ģ̵̧͎̘̳̘̟̘̝̭͍̝̟̤̥̤̳̰̫͇̣̫̳̙̠̦̪̗͕̲̲̟̠̳͖̙̟͍͆͜l̴̬̗̺̱͎̭̻̼̣̯̤͆̀͗̄̔͂̑̀̄̒͗̍̅̾̾͂̾̽͗͂̔̂̒̋̂̂̎̓̈́͝͠ͅụ̷̢͖̤̖͍͓̟̦̖̖̘̭̙̜̟̲̘͇̼̱̪̲̟̪̖̜̝̟̦͉̠͎̍͗͗͌̊̓͊͐͌͌͗̓͆̇̀͘͘͝ͅͅb̸̧̡̢̨̧̛̛͉͖̫̗̫̩̭͎͚̥̺̞͖͎̳̰͎͉̳͇͇̖͖̞̲̹̱̝͖͎͈̺̟̜̳̥̼̖͇͚̝̗̗̘͙̤̺͓͖̥̪͈̣͖̤̔̆͊̈́̅͆̈͋͊̄́̈̀̒̎̃̇̅̋͆̾͛̈̀̌̐̓̀͒͗͌͗̍͋̽͒͂͊́̽̄͑͛̀̎͆͊͋̿͗̏̕͘͘̕͜͜͝͝͠͝ͅ ̴̧̡̡͈̘̟̙̠̩̖͖̖̟̺̣͉̰̤̹̤̰̗͖̲̮̻͈̮̳̜̰̝͇̈́́̀͒͆̈́̓̈́͒͜ͅg̷͔̞̬̪͔̪̖̪̭̒̇̓̀̆̐̃̔̋̎̀́͆̿͌͐͂̉̈́̏͒̾̒̈͒̈́͗̚͘l̴͖͎̲̮̯̻̹͉̆̄̚ư̴̡̡̢̡̨̧̰̙͇̫̖̗͓̻̯͔̻̳͕̜̰̥͎̻͇̗̫̜̯͎̣̙̘̯̳̰͎̟̯͓̯̤͚̘̺͍̗̠̳̩̮͔̻̞̬͓̭̦̟͎̯̳̗͚̺͈̫̖͍̄͗̄̏͆̓̀͐̍̀̈̌̅̀̇̇̓̅̅̄̊̍̓͆̚̚͠͝͝ͅͅͅb̵̡̨̨̧̧̡͈͎̞̝̥̤̩̝̞͓̗̮͚̻̲̼̱̝͇̲̠̝̹̦̖̟͓̹̼̭̫̘̗̼̥̭̹̯̩͙͍̰̼͙̥̹̲̤̙̠͚͎̭͓̐͌͆̔̔̃̆̋̉̓̋̔̒̊̑̂͗̃̄̉̋̏͋̐͒̔̅̂̈́̀͛̄͒͐͐̔̇͑͒̋̈́̑͛̊̊̒͊̎̅̎͛͋̉̄̄͐̅͑̕̕͘̚͘͜͝͝͝͝ͅ ̷̢̢̢̧̧̧̡̭̻̳̥͈̭͙̟̮̦̺̭̬̝̖̙̭͚͉͖̪̱͖̭̱͓̦̮͎̳̝̝̻̥̙͉̙͕̠̯̳̫͍̲̫͈͕̠̞̲͈͈̯̫̘̺͓̈͐͗̿̿͛͛͒͜͠ͅm̷̡̡̧̡̡̢͔̖̞͔͔̗̰̬̰̭͔̭̹̞̻͙̉̊̐̎͜ͅơ̸̢̨̡̨̢̛̺̦̟͉̞̜̲͎̜͕̞̼̗̽͑̿͋̈̔̋̍̆́́͊͒̉͆̋̈́͛̐̅̈́̋̎͂͒̓̍͋̾̂̑̒͋̌̈́̔̊͆̑̔͒̃̐̈́̇̌͐̂͗͛̍̋͒̿̎͘̚͝͝͝͝ͅt̶̨̧̢̨̝̥̺̼̭̬͕̳̦̘̯̱̗̜̘͚̟̦͔̯͇͙̙͚̱̭̞̟̮͓̝̫̱͈̭͇̲͔̯̼͎̘̝̪̯̭̜̺̤̪͕̗̙̰̔͐̒̈́̈̃͑̈́͊̄̐̍͊͂̏̉͌͌̈́̍̈́͋̈́͂̋̏̀̚̚̚͜͜͜͝͝͠͠ͅḩ̴̨̛̙͇̞͓̻̬̦̝̱̲̩̻̟̩̬̽́̇̌̉̎̌̆͗͌̊̾̌͋̆̋̍͒̆̐͛͐̈́͌̆͑̉̋̾̓͆̿̊̒̿̄̓̅̈̈̏̈́̓̎̈̓̀͊̈́͐̈́́͂̏͘̚͘͘͜͝͝͝͠ͅȩ̸̨̢̧̨̧̢̨̢̢̨̛̛̗̟̫̭̜͎͙̗̪̖͇̫̮̺͖͔̖̳̟̻̗͉͔͙͔̙̤̜͉̬̲̫͈̮͕̣͍͈̼̭̻̜͖̜̝̲̖̞̥͚̬̣̥͉̝͖̯̯̉̆́͋̍͌̇̌̈́̅̐̽̉̿̉͂́̆͛̀̓̎͐̋̃̋̏̔͛͛̆̊̈̽͋͌̄͐̕͘̕̚̕͘͜ͅͅͅͅr̶̨̨̧̨̧̧̬̻̲̙͇̘͇̙̯̳̪̯̺͎͉̬̟̗̯̞͇̬̥̰͉̖̩̰̝̖̲̜͈̠̝̭̩̼̣̜̥̝̘̤͍͉̠̗̤͎̙͍͚̻̮̬̺̯̘̥͈̬̩͇̈́͜ͅͅͅͅf̸̢̹̜̻̣͔̝͍̔̊̔̇̑̏̽͆͛͗̓̊̒̅͂̋͛̓̒̒͌͆́̈́̈́̐͛͑̑̐̓̊̓̃̋̋̀͊͂̄̃̇̃̊̏̐͛̄̆̈́̋͐̒͌͘̕̕̚͘͠͝͠ư̵̡̛̛̞̜͖̫͕̠̱̍͒̈̋͗̓͊̀̽̉̐͌̌̿̂̔͋̔̆̎̂̌̃͋̾̂̾͗̂͆͂́̊̂́̓̋̍͂̄͛͆͘̕̕͘͘͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝c̵̢̛̛̤̱͚̼͙̤͉͐̈́͛͒͒͋̃̓̈́͊͂̾̆͑̎̀̽̇̐̉̈̏͋͗͌́̈́̑̉̈́͗͒͘͘̚̚͝͠͝ķ̷̢̢̛̛̗̳͍̹̹̰̲̦̥̩͖̘̣͔̰͈̈̒̒̈́̃̅̓̓̾̂͑͒̄͐̽̆̽̓̾̋̿͐̒̒̾͆̂̍̆̓̍̔͂͐̃̎̀̉͋͊̋̓͋̑̓͛̈́͛̂̀̈́̄̓̽̈́̍̉͂͗͒̅̉͘̚͘̕͝͝ę̴̡̢̛̣͕̞̣̯̦͈̗̗̟͕͔̜̠̖̠̼̭̫͚͕̠̱̉̄̓̿̿̈́̑͂̈͌̊̈̓̒̿̂̆͛̌̑̈́͋̐͌̓͊̓̐̾̋̀̋͑́̓͌̋͘͜͜͝r̸̡̛̪̲̜̤͔͓̰̼͉̩̯̽͊́͆́̀̉͂̑͌̊̒̊̈́͗͌̎͂͂̓͂͊̄̕!"

The sword of Bec Noir swish past his head. A needle discharge a black thread of dark magic. Spitting like a ribbon around the beast who effortlessly teleports behind him. The horror terror residing in him have already forseen it and punktures a hole into the creatures right wing. Bec growls loudly powering up his own energy. Their clash send shockwaves through Daves frail body. Nearly breaking the needles in his hands. "ą̸̧̢̢̡̧̢̡̧̡̢̨̡̧̧̡̢̡̢̢̧̢̢̢̧̧̢̝̩͓̟̞͖̻̪͎̯̞̯̳̖̹͇͙͈̱͍̬̺̦͙̖͚̮̙͈͔͙̯̹͍͔̮̦̬͚͙̰̖̞̭̲͓̹͔͙̗̜͍͕̺̼̦̫͈̲̰͈͚͇̰̬̭̳̜̩̙̯̖̘̯̦̘̰̮̲͚͍̝̞̫̟̲̝̗̬͎͓̤͓̳̣̲̥͙̮̘̪̺͓̻̻͕̺͖͍͈͇͓̫̝͖̫̱̩͍̜̻̻̺͎̝̱͔͎̱̟̮̤͕̲͈̲̬͔͉͖͕͈̭͚͍̪̻̹̬̬̜͚̲̩̝̖̪̰̗̘͈͖͙̣̯̲̟̦̟̣̱̱̩̲̻̭̬͇̦̲̝̫̮̜̮̲̹̺̣̻̻̺̻̥͍͔̼̫̰͓͉͓̫͍͔̳̼̼͎͕̫̳̝̤̙̺͔̝͈̭̜͕̫̯̳̼͎̗̠̭̗̺̩̮̬͇̗̼̊̿̑̇̎̆͂̇͆̾̈́̓͋̈̌̎̅̓̒͂̓͒͑̊̇̌̂̚̕͘̕͘̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͝͠ͅͅͅå̵̢̡̧̢̨̢̢̧̢̨̡̡̨̨̨̧̡̧̛̛̛̛̛̛̟̻̞̹̮͈͚͔̭̼͖̳̮̭̘̲̟̮̞̠̦̮̮̭̦͚̲͕̘̣̖̮̺͖̼͓̟̥̟̙̹̼̙͎̘̖̠͍̱͇̲̮̜̪̱̩̖̮͖͙̜̙̮̫̟̰̬̮͈̫̫̬̙͚̲̯̞̝̠̭̭͉̦͓̱̤̮͙͎̲̬̻̯͓̫̲̠̮̖̫̱̻̫̳̱̫͔̩̣̙̗̯̱̦̲̝̻̯͔̩͔̰͍̘̹͇͍̮̥̘͎̜̠͈̯̭̯͍̈̋̄̆͂̔̋͌͒̔̓̑͋͑̽̓̽̅̑̐̊̈́̈́̃͆̓̾̇͐̄̆̊̓̌̏͂̈́͋̅̄̌̓̈́̄̋̊͐̀̑̃͒̃̇̈́̿̾̎̍̒̾̔̑̽̔͋͆͑͗̐̾̿̉̉̒̐̽͒̏̋̒̓̂͑͋̐̿̎̎͑̑̌̎̽̈̾̂̋̆̑̿̉͆̈́̌͊̂̐̈́̇̂̈́̿͐̄͗́͋̆́͊̅̇͊͒̄͐̓̈̈́̑̀̑̎̓̎̈͐̏̈́͒̽́̐̊͗̈͂̈́̿̅́̑̓͐̐̈́̽̿͛̏̅̓͊̏̈́̏̎̈̃͂͊̀̑̽͗̂̋̆̈́̿̒͂̎̓̏͌̈́̊͊̔͒̅͊̍̄̓̓̂͊̊̕̕̚͘̚͘̕͘̕̚̚͘̕̕͘̚̚͘͘͜͜͠͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅa̶̧̢̡̧̛̛̛̬̠̤͖͍̖̻̟̱͓͔̜̙͓̗͚̥̠͉̹͉̱͇̒̂̋̾͊̅͐̐̾̏̈́͗͐̃̽̃̄͐̌̍͊̏̋̈́̑̍͋̋̀̂͌̄͌̂́̈́̆̓͊̂̔̏͌͑́̀́͗͑͛̒̿̉͐̄̎͗͑͒͌̌̊̿̂̉̌̿͛͊͌̽̈̌͌͗̈́̃́̿͗͋͆́̓̑̂͌̉̓̑̂̓̆͗̐͂̓̀̽̋͊̒̓̾̑́̃̈́̒͗͆̐͒͊̇̄́̄̏͐̊̏̽͗̀̆̍̌͑̓̋͆̍͛̓̅̈̉̅̅̈́́̓̔͐̏̒͒͒͛͒̃̿̎͌̌̉̓̽̌̇̔̾̐̈́̓͂̀̑̌́͑̿̐̿̓̋̐͌̈́̌̇̇̈̆͛͊͗̂͊̇̐̎͌̾̎͌̍̎̒̏̉͑̽̿̂̽̎̐̅̽̾͂͛̊̾̾͌̎̅͘͘̕̚̚̚̚̚͘̚̕̕̕̚͘̕̕̚̚̕͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͠͝͠͠͠͠ͅͅA̴̡̡̧̨̨̢̧̢̧̡̡̧̢̧̨̛̛̛̛̛̛̖̥̫̹̹͉̭͖͔͔̘͓̜̼͍̜̙͓̯̗͔͙̻̞͕̲̖͈̮̺̯̫͚͉̟̥̜̮͙̬̥̟̖̜͓͚̯̗͓̘̹̘̮͇͓̖̥̹͖̼̞̥͇̟̹̰͇̺͔̭̠̘͍̫̱̞͍͈̥̠͉̠͍̝̝̝͈̺̟͇̹̗̪̳͙̣͔̠̬̻͔͉͕̱̰͔̱̭̭̭̝̠̮͇̫͈̱̪̯͓̭͉̞̜̮̭̭͕͚̻͈̼̱̗̖͚͔̤̰̟̳̻̻̻̦̰̫̐̇͛̆͒̇̽̽̂̍̃̌̅̈́̿̓̔̉̀͛̆͐̏͊̇͑̄̈́͐̊͊̈́̌̑̃͋̅̐̉̿̓̉͒̐͗̑̊̑͒̀͌̾̈́͑͌̈́̈͌͆͌͗͋̌̈̆̾̔̂́̓̈́̿͌̇̋͗̈́̇͂̒̀̒̒̾̑̎̈́͗̐͑͒̌̇̒̒̆̂̍̉̃̀̓̔̈́́̑̐̐̑̒͛̽͒̃̈̄̔̃̐̚͘͘͘͘͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝͠͠͝͝͠ͅͅͅͅͅA̶̡̛̛̛̛̜͎̻̎̈́̈̆͛͛͊͂͊͛͑̾̿͗̅͗̾̽̉̂̇̎͊̽́̓̾̋̌̏̇͐̿̍̓̿̉̈́̽́̆͊̍̆̄̈̒̀͑̇̒̋̈́͌͛͌̎̈́̃͌͐̓͂̌̈́̊̾͆̋̈́̍̒͌̃̒̈́͋̾͆͒͊̀̈́̋͊́̑̀͗̍̇̿̅̀̊́̉̋͆̄̾̈́͑̃̏͊̑͌̋̌̏̾̔́̽͋͂͌͗̃̽̉́̈́̐̔͆̋͋͆̎̉̊̀̔͊͒̉̎͌͐̃͌͛̿̓̀͒͑̿̓͆͊̊͆̐̋͆̓͊̒̔̇͆̓́̎͐̓̉̚̚̕͘̕͘̕̕̚̚̕͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͠͝Ą̶̧̡̧̢̨̢̨̧̡̧̛̛̛̛͇̪̮̝̦̟͉͎͖͕̫̫̜̩̰̦̻̟͓͉̳͓̻̳̭̗̮̻̗͎̺͓̱̮̱͚͖̫̭͚̼̮͓̲̰̯͎̖̦͔͚̘͓̰̟͚̞̯̼̘̻̬̗̬̠̱̯̺͇͉̬̯̰͔͓̟̫̟͖̗̗̯̦̼͕͍͇̙͓͚̥̩̮̞̜̭̟̗͕̜̪͕͙̼͉̤̤̺͇̺̥͕̠̖̱̱͎̜͕͓̦̦͇̫̩̟̲̳͚̼̟̩̈́̄̌̓̑̉͆̅̆̓͑̏̍̌͆̄̀̑̃͊͂̐͊́̑̔̌̅̉̍͒̓͊̿̐̀̽̓̂͗́̆̇͑̽̈́̿͊͑̓̒̐̅̌͗̈́͂̊̐̍̈́̈́̍̈́͑̈́̄͆͑̅̿̈͂̓̾́̒̊̍̿͐̐̅͐̒̃̐̓́͛̾͐͋̄͐̐͒͒̈́̈́̓̔̐̍̍͛̀̐̾͂̈́̀̽̋̅͗̒͂̈͗̾͊͆̈́̑̉̃̋͑̃͂͐̎͐̇͒̀̄͆̒̚̕͘͘̕͘͘͘̚͘̚͜͜͠͝͠͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͝ͅͅͅͅĄ̶̢̢̢̧̧̧̧̧̨̡̧̡̢̨̡̛̛̛̛͕͎̬̭̬͈͕̖͇͙͙͉̫͓͎̦̭̪͉͖͎̼̗̰̠͚̱̲̼͍͔̠͖̜̺̲̣̗͕͓̪̖̠̫̦̻̠͖̹̹͍͓̯͚͖̰̤̙̲͔̤͚͉͕̖̠͈͙̼̪̝̤͇͔͔̫͈͇̮̜̲̜̳̞̤̥̪̤͚̯̩͉̰̬̪̘̖͔̦̭̞͉̪̣͖̺̤̫͈̱̺͎̮͖̘͙̗̘̲͙̱̗̞̖͓͈̝̮̫̜̗̳͙͙͍͕̠͉͖͉͍̖̰͔̤̟͍͎̬̝̤̘͚͚̬͙̝̻͈̼̭̹̦͓̙̲̮̹̖̭̦̜̮͈͑̾̂̌͐̉͒͋͊͛̍͗̃̄͌̏͗̊͛̿͌͛̉̿̓̊̾͗̊̈́̌̅͂̓̾͒́̎̌͐̏̑̈́̐̎̄̈̓̔̐̏͗͑̅̊̿̓̒̽̊͒̒̓̐͋̎̀̾̏̒̏͋̈́̇͑̇̿̎̈͛̾͆̇̀͒̃͊̒͗͛̐̈́͌͑̈́́̎̑̊͆͂͒̈́̓̑̇͌͊̄͊͂̍͐̓̂̿̂̈̓̌̉̽͒̇̀̐̏͂̐͋̆̔̓̅̐̔͗̈́͋͑̉̇͋͐̔̄̎̽̓̾̏͛̕̚̚̕̚͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͜͠͝͝͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅͅA̷̧̧̧̧̧̢̨̢̨̨̡̧̢̛̛̛̛̛̛͍̙̹̮̪̰͓̞̯̲̯̹͙͕̰̻̟̲̻̭̞̠͓̤̹̟͎̫̟̞̖̘̘͚̫̗̝̝͚̰͓̹͍̝̹͕̠̠͇̲̺͉̘̞̩͍̗̫̥̖̤̘͎̮̙̟͈̬̼̜̠̜͔̳͍͙͖͎̝̺̥͙̠̭͇̰̗̩͎͙͕̣̰̰̼̰̱͎̗̬̝̖̥͔̮͍̗̲̭̯̗̯̭̠͔̘̩͉͉͚̳͚͙͈̮͉̬͔̺͇̲̩̭͕̲̝̣̩͓̬͔̦̪͕̭͎̥͇̤̻̘͖̬̖̬̟͚̖̞̝͈̬̜͎̣̮͔̔̋̾̔̄̀̌̽͒̿̊͂̏̐͒͆͊̄͋͂͐͌̆̈̊̇͌̑͌͐̔̊̈́̇́̃̔͌͋̀̽̂̈́̐͐̀̀̽̿͑́͆͗͐́̈́́̈́̒͌̆̓̑̈́͒̇̊̈̂̿̓͆̆̉̌͋͂͑͊͒͒͗̓̄͌̒̏͐͒́̓̾̀̓̎̈́̑̀̃͑̎̈́̿̅̆̅̉̅̉̌̆͑̍͂͒̀͗̔̈́̆̊̎́̀̀̇̈̈́̑͑̊͗̄̒̈̉̑̾̍̍̒͆͗͛̆̅̈́́͗̿̒̂͛̐̔̅̅̔̔̈́̃͗̉͋̅̒̓͌̔̉̏̏̓́̆́̃͒̽̈́̿̉̒̌̿̕̚̕͘̕͘̕̚̕̚͘͘͘͘̚̚̕͜͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͠͝͝ͅͅͅĄ̸̨̨̨̡̢̧̢̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̛̟̥̻͓̖̗͉̲͉̻͎͙̼̘̝̦̤͈̹̫̪͇̺̭̥̫̙̗̝͓͚͖̙͍͉̭̜̜̙̻̻͍̠̮̲̩̞̲̼̞͚̭̲͙̝͙̳̪̠̖̞͕̲̬̭̺̬͖̰͇͇̤̺̲̩̱̰͉̟̖̜̮̘̳̲̥̂̐͌̓̊͌͂̔́̅̏̄̄̄̐̆̒̍̈̇͂̓̑̓̀̂̿̓͒̄̽̑͌̿̐̂̑͒̅̀̑̊̏̄̽̒̌͂̃̈͗̾͐̊̾̇̉̿̂̀̆̍͆̔̌͛̓͆̈́͐̓̈́́͗͒̑̏̈́̔̋̋̂̂̉̎̍̈́̂̐͑̀̓̾̅͑̅̈́̿̇̂͒̉̀͑͑̉̒̄̓̿́̉͛͐̂̄̃͌͐̉̍̾͋̈̍͌͌͐͊̑́͂̓̂̈͒̿͊͗̋̒̓͋̇̓̅̌̆̒̈́̍̽̓̓̓͑̾̆̌̾͊̒̅̽̌͋̈̓̑̍̾̄̄́͛̓̍̓́́̅̒̀̌̏̿̌̊̾̈́̌̆͊̿͗̊̈́̈́͂͐̈̄̎̽̈͂̔̚̚̕̕͘̚͜͜͜͝͠͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͠͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝͝ͅͅͅ "

With a final surge of power the gods push the almighty Bec Noir away from the timeline. They release Dave in a mostly broken heap. His lungs hurt when he breaths but he's alive at least. The clouds didn't show this to Jade did they?

He picks up his discarded phone from the ground. It hurts to move even a little. "Ow fuṵ̷̯̦̠͈͓̙͙͖̱̩̄͗̔̏͗̐̉̈̈́̎̍̓̑̋́͆͆͂͒͐͑͊̑͋̕͝c̷̡̨̡͍̭̜̘̤̺̝̟̠̺̖̳̬̟̲̲̬̙͈͍̠̑̓̇̈͑͑̽̽͗̚͜ͅk̶͓͈͍̖̮̱̰̺͍̼̺̤̦̖̱̮̰̰͔͉͉̳̪̰͔̹̹̫̾̓͐̓̾̿̋͆̓̎̐̐̎͌͌́̿̈́̂͑̂͌̒̿̕̚͠ͅ" the corrupted sound he lets out leaves him confused. He really shouldn't have let them in, but was this enevitable? Was this one of the things that was supposed to happen. He would vaguer yes.

TT: I'm back. Everything hurts.  
TT: you seem diffrent  
TT: I have several lesser gods dwelling within my body. In other words it feels like I've been mangled by a truck.  
TT: Would you reccomend this state?  
TT: Hmmm. No, it's ill adviced. Though they only mean well.  
TT: Well that answers that question for future references.  
TT: Ĝ̷̛͈̦̍̓̋̂͌͌͛̊̆̽͆̇̆̓̕͘ļ̸̡̧̛̲̥̭͖̹̣̯̭̙̩͙͒̈͊̈́͑́̽͒̐̿̒̾̒͗͜͝ṳ̴͇͇̣͓̗̭̺͖͉̳͚͒̍̓̐̎͗̉̊̎̉̐̇̈́͂̒̚͝b̶͆̋͗̑̓̆́͑̏̔͘͠  
TT: Oups there goes the glubbing.  
TT: That's pretty adorable actually.  
TT: Thank you. I'm sorry to say I must proceed in the game before that thing comes back.  
TT: Okay, see you later?  
TT: See ya  
\--tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering tideripTune [TT]\--

Dave gets up from his slumping state. He scouts the horrizon for any sight of Jack. Something urges him to sleep. That's a stupid idea so he resist it.

\-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling tideripTune [TT]\--  
AG: what the fuuuuuuuuck are you doing?!!!!!!!!  
AG: youre ruining everythiiiiiiiing!   
AG: all my caaaaaaaareful planning and this is how im treated?  
TT: I'm busy, let's talk later.  
No. You aren't getting away. I should 8e top priority damn it!  
TT: g̵̡̡̡̧̡̢̨̧̨̢̢̛̘̺̝̙̮̲̳͔̱̦͈̹͙̗̰̣͕̻͍̹͉͇͎̰͍̮̣̯̗̻͉̻͚̝͉̳̻̭̼̙̱̥͎̻͎͚͔͍̳̣̬̝̩͕̪̫͓̤͈̟͕̼̩̝̮̩̞̯͔͖͕͓̟͕̊̎̀̓͛̎͗̿̔͒͌̈́͂̓̉͛̐͆̈́͂̔̍̓͗̔̓̊̈̓͑̅̈̓͗̅̋͆̂́̅̈́̽̑̆́͐̈́̉̌̓͐͒̽͛͛̽͒͌̇̓̑̉̇̎̓́͊̈́̀͒̓̏͊̑̏̿͗̒̐̈́͋̈́̎̍̋͗̉̒̑̈̎͑͂̀͗̋̎͋̚̕͘͜͜͝͝͠͠͝͝͠͝͠͠͝͝͝ơ̸̡̮͉͓̱͖͙̒̊̉̑͂̌̓͗̆̄͌͊̈͌͗̈́̈́͋̍̈́͋̈́̑̚͘͝͠͠ơ̷̢̧̼͈̗͍͚͎͎͇̥͎̻͚̥̺̹͎̭̠͖̱͇̟̻̐̈͜͜ḑ̴̧̡̧̧̡̧̢̡̢̛̼͚̫̯̣̻͎͉͖̼̥͓͈̖͎̱̪̞̜͕̖͎̲̞͔̭̘͚̹̱̲̺̲̼̭͍̳̰̲̯̤̭͇̜̳̟̩̠͙̖̠̯̣̠͇͍̳̪̫̳͎̝͉͇̟̭̣̠̬̲͓͙̱̝̩̦͖̘͕̬̥̗͍̟͙̲͙̲̠̫̻̫̼̝͖̝̜̣̪̣̳̗̼̘͌͑̈̆͑̑̎̍͊̂̉̐̉̿͐̅̌͑̅̔̑̈́͆̈́͋͊̎̒̾̌̃͂͌͋̐̌̇͒̒̈́̃̋̍̊̎͐̓̓͛̆̓̈́̃̕̚̕̕͘͜͜͜͝͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝͝ͅͅb̸̢̨̢̩̠̫̼̝̬̳͇̰̘̱̻̤̹̰̩̥͉͍͇͓̭̜̯̪̗̜͈͎͚̀̈́̿͐̏̓̋̒̑̄̽͐̊̂̾̎̔̑̈͆̊̂͒̾̂̐̿̿̾͛̉̊̆͂̽̀͋̃̏͗̊̋̊̒̔̓͊̌͂͛̒̅͆͑̓̃̃̕̕͘͘̕͜͜͠͠͝ͅͅy̴̨̧̨̡̢̨̢̢̛̠͍̫̤̘̦͉̤̰̱̦̺̤͓̙͉̮̜̗͉̖͍̱̙̗͍͖̦̝͔͙̘͎̬̬̰̦̳̭̟̻̦̻̙̞͚̰͍͙̣̞͔̬̣̜̞̝͓̟̯̫͖̝̮̤̻̮̞͚̰̟͎͓̙̥̹̺̲͕͇̥̣̱̱̹͙̻͎̟̮̮̘̝̫̳͇̲̜͆̇͑͐̐͂̐̇̋͛̑̊͛̀͋̅̊̽͘̕͜͜͝͠ͅͅͅę̷̧̧̢̨̢̢̨̡̢̨̢̡̡̨̥̠͓̖̤̱̘̼͇̞͓̺̘̖̰̞̯̘̭̖͎̱̥̦̯̘̱̯̞͙̥̬̘̫͇̤̘͓̞͎̮̝͔̳̥̰̜̰̣͇̩͎̘̗̲͈͖̫̞̜̻̼̼̝̮̗͎̯̺̮͇̗̞̯̜̫͖̭̬͎̻̫͈̭̪͓̺̺̳̼̖̹̜͖̮͎̼̭̩͇͓̬̩͓̗̯͑̓̈́͆̅͂̅͛̍̏̒̿͌͗̂͒̓̊͛̓̈́̃̇͋̋͆͗̏̑̋͊̎̇̈́́̉͗̎̓̀̚͘͘̚͘̕͜͜͝͠ͅͅͅͅ 

\--archnidsGrip's computer had a meltdown--

"Flying fuck no!" he really didn't mean to do that. Oh well when one go grimdark one can't always control ones powers. He walk over to the totem latcher to make some sweet gear for Jack's return.


	9. Computer: Agitate

Jade groans as the damn game buffers. The freeze frame of John looks pretty sweet though. Especially that hightech robot arm. She laugh in frustration as her screen glitch and the equipment she was about to deploy crash down on the floor. "This is stupid..."

\--germinateTrillium [GT] began pestering tregatourGetaway [TG]\--  
GT: im so sorry john :(   
TG: it's fine. just watch the turn tables!  
GT: ill try! my computer is so bad that even my shitty old smartphone would play better :(  
TG: where did you even find that thing?  
GT: um...  
GT: ive had it since i was a baby!  
TG: no wonder it's so bad!  
GT: i know :(  
GT: but this is how it was meant to be!  
TG: did the clouds tell you?  
GT: yep ;p  
TG: when's it my turn?  
GT: very sojxbzbiqbsgsj  
TG: what?  
GT: lmao your face just freeze framed gigantic compared to your body  
TG: lol that's silly  
GT: hehe :D  
GT: youll wake up soon! then ill take you cloud watching!  
TG: sweet :B  
GT: <3  
TG: <3

He's blushing. She made him blush! The screen freeze, capturing the moment longer. For once it doesn't make her mad. Gosh he's so dorky and cute. Not that she would ever tell him. His cool kid persona is important to him. "Soooo cool, hehe"

She can see John pull the lever until dowels spew out with the intensity of 5000 angry bees. He flails about in glitched slowmotion. A glowing orb drag its way out of the opening. She picks up one of those silly plushes from the floor with the cursor in an attempt to catch it.

TG: holy fuck that smuppet just glitched the fuck out!  
GT: i tried grabbing the glowy thing!  
TG: the kernelsprite? dude you should totally read tentacleTherapists walkthrough! it's really helpful  
GT: okay!

Jade taps away from her chat with John. She opens her trustworthy Echidna web browser and search for the walkthrough. It's not hard to find it. It's like the new hot thing that everyone talks about. She starts skimming through the text. Eyes going wider the more she absorbs. "No!" she yells out loud. "hell the fuck nooooo!" she clumsily taps on her groupchat with her irl friends.

Woof♡: hey guys? can you still come over? dad made waaaaay too much cake!  
ThaBath: cake? sign me up!  
Elbowless: k. be there in a minute 

She lets out a sigh of relief. Maybe just maybe she can protect them both like this. After all they're her really good friends that she feel like she can tell everything to. They're the bestest of pals there can ever be. She just hope the others will love them as well, wich of course they will. How could they not?

Jade looks up at the monitor. John's robot arm is freezeframed with a smuppet and the kernelsprite. The image flash to another frame. Smuppetsprite is introduced to the world and Jade have no idea what to feel.


	10. John: converse with smuppetsprite

It's eyebleeding really, the ghost thingy in front of him. It shifts colours like some kind of party christmas tree. "um, hello?" he asks carefully. The smuppetsprite make several noises at once. "%^!&#*" John lets out a sigh. "Um... I have to answer Jade..."

GT: what the hell john :(  
GT: why didnt you tell me sooner?  
TG: about the walkthrough?  
GT: no! about our friends dying because of a stupid game!  
GT: i wouldve gathered everyone i know :(  
TG: sorry jade, i actually found the guide earlier today. i should've told you sooner.  
GT: yes you shouldve! im going to bring my real friends john! then when we all eventually meet up im going to show them how awful you are stinkface! :(  
\--germinateTrillium [GT] blocked tregatourGettaway [TG]\--

Johns face drops and the sprite goes batshit crazy with noise. "Shut up!" he tells it, covering his ears. Things are crashing around him as the rest of the stuff is deployed. He reach for the card with the code. It almost spell berrytart he notice. He knows Jade just needs some time, yet he feel worried. He cleanch his fist around the card almost crumpeling it.

He find the dowel latcher in the hallway outside his room. It blocks his door completely. He sighs tapping Jades handle. A message that he's blocked pops up again and again. "aw come on!" he sighs, heading for the window. He captchalogues the card before jumping up on the windowsil. The world spins around him for a moment. The ground is so far down.

John close his eyes before looking up. There's only a few meters to the roof and is that a motherfucking meteor?!

Bro's hoverboard fly past him and he jumps onto it. He flies it to the roof just as the meteor is split in half. The board continues up to Bro and the whole building rattles as the halves land on the ground. John scramble downstairs to the dowel latcher imputting the card. He can't help but smile. Bro didn't hate him after all. He puts a totem into the carver and mash a few buttons. The dowel is made into an interesting shape. He captchalogues it and bolts into the livingroom/kitchen. There the alchemizer is standing in its full glory.

He makes the item. A cermonial knife appears in center of the alchemy pad. He tentatively pick it up. It weighs heavy in his good hand. The kernelsprite supplies him with squeaks. "Am I supposed to kill myself?" he asks. The sprite does nothing to clarify so he decides to make a small cut to test its sharpness. It's so clean it doesn't even hurt when he drags the blade over his palm. The knife sucks up the blood hungrily until it turns crimson, then everything lights up.

John squeeze his eyes shut. When he open them again the room look just like before, nothing out of place. He look down at his phone. Jade still haven't unblocked him. He shakes his head. It doesn't matter anyway, she'll calm down eventually line she always do. He peeks a look outside the window. It almost look like fireworks are going off out there. How had he missed the noise?

●

Dave Lalonde land on the rooftop of John's apartment. Bro stands there, waiting, chuckling. He captchalogues his timetables before charging at the man. The man draws his sword but Dave aims at the puppet, stabbing its eyes out with his expensive as hell Zilly Yawrn + Unbreakable pokey things. The jujus eyes seep out the glowing souls trapped inside. The horror terrors hungrily go out of his aura to devour them. Bro adjusts his grip on his sword and Dave blocks it with the Zilly Yawrn.

A dead John flash through his vision. He narowly dodge another swing of the guardians katana. Dave mash his lips to Bro's with a clack. The katana drop to the ground with a clatter and the mans eyes widen behind the stupid anime shades. He feels himself get dipped. Footsteps come from behind them and he force Bro's lips to remain on his until they dissappear in a scramble.

"You..." Bro growls against his lips. They break apart in one swift motion. "I'm going to break your legs and shove them into your windpipe." he continues menacingly. Dave puts up a finger to his lips.

"Wouldn't you want to break free of your shackles?" he asks, removing his finger before he gets bitten. "I've already pissed him off enough. Oh he's furious that he can't enter. He depends on you now, his last puppet. Will you scratch or will you take a walk on the wild side?" 

○

\--tregatourGettaway [TG] began pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--  
  
TG: i'm sorry for picking you as a venting partner but jade has blocked me and rose and other dave is too close to the real thing  
TG: i can't believe he did this to me. how could he just make out with bro like that! ugh!  
TG: he was my best friend!  
CG: THE HELL JOHN 2.0!?  
CG: WHY WOULD I EVER WASTE MY TIME WITH TRIVIAL MATTERS YOUR AWFUL KIND NESTLE THEIR SHAME GLOBES INTO.  
TG: because you wouldn't want my dave to get out of hand? what if this is the reason he blew up those computers!  
CG: HA HA! YOUR LUNATIC HUMAN FRIEND BLACKED OUT AS SOON AS HE ENTERED THE GAME. YOUR LUSUS HAVE NOTHING AND I MEAN NOTHING TO DO WITH HIS BEHAVIOUR!  
CG: IT'S PURELY LALONDE SHINANIGANS THAT WE HAVE THE DISSPLEASURE OF BEING THE PUNCHLINE OF.  
CG: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHAT THAT BULGELICKERS DEAL IS. IF YOU'RE SMART YOU STAY OUT OF THE WAY.  
TG: lalonde shinanigans huh? you know more about my friend than i do appearently  
CG: WELL APPEARENTLY HE HAS BEEN CHATTING IT UP WITH MY "BEST" FRIEND AND TOLD HIM EVERY LITTLE SECRET. BOTTOM LINE IS THAT HE'S OUT OF HIS GODDAMN THINKING SPONGE!  
TG: fuck if i knew sobering up would make him crazy then i wouldn't have encouraged it!  
CG: I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE CAUSE EITHER. DAVE IS THE SEER OF TIME WICH MEANS THAT GUY YOU SAW COULD BE MONTHS OR EVEN YEARS FROM THE FUTURE. ANYWAYS GET FUCKED STRIDER!  
TG: thanks carcino  
CG: IT'S KARKAT DIPSHIT!  
TG: thanks karkat :B  


\--tregatourGettaway [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist [CG]\--

John swallow hard as his finger hover over Dave's chumhandle. He seems to be online now. Probably done shoving his tongue down bro's throat. He taps it reluctantly, not one to like confrontations.


End file.
